Mayores de 40

[Izzy]

Mayores de 40

Lamie, how are you feeling??? Try to be strong and positive tough I Know it's quite difficult . Soon or later, you"ll achieve! Be sure!! Big, big hug!!!



Izzy2012-02-04 20:42:17

[RHODIOLA]

Mayores de 40

HOLA compis he vuelto y estoy mejor, gracias por vuestros ánimos, sobre todo a tí BELEN , me ha ayudado mucho tus palabras, bueno y las de tod@s , la verdad es que soy especiales

Estoy tratando de decidir que es lo que voy hacer, quiero seguir adelante pero quiero programar mejor todo lo que necesito, estoy esperando a que me llame mi gine y a ver lo que decidimos, ya os contaré

un abrazo y muchos ánimos para todas

[lamie]

Mayores de 40

good morning Izzy

what a beautiful heart! Thank you so much for it and for thinking of me.

I've been miserable since thursday where I had the blood test done. This morning was normally supposed to be the urin test day...and I of course did it, just to be sure. No surprise; it's still negative...I don't know why, but I still hoped somehow...stupid me! I've never tried to test positive. Would love to see two lines....

It's been a tough WE. I took the day off on thursday and stayed at home as well on friday. I wasn't capable of working - just lying on the couch and crying my eyes out....I've received a mail from dr. Velasco who wants to know what my plans are: if I want to go for the single blatocyst in the freezer, even if the chances are lower with just one....I suppose I will, but I'm beginning to realise that the real solution might be double donation. The only problem is, that my man doesn't agree with that option. As a matter of fact, he refuses even to talk about it....So, my life feels like a mess right now: will I have to face double donation, but doing it alone, because my partner refuses not to be the biological father to a child - or can I live with the whole in my heart, but with the man by my side??? I really don't now what to do.....So that's why I've been lying awake since 3 o-clock this morning.....

Thanks for caring and for the wonderful teddy bear and the hug! It warms...

big bear hug to you to

Lamie

[Izzy]

Mayores de 40




Dear Lamie, I understand you, it’s all so
difficult!! I’ve done several tests and, like you, I’ve never seen the two
lines, ohhh. But we’ll see them, be sure!!! Sooner or later, we’ll see!!

[lamie]

Mayores de 40

Dear Izzy

...yes, I'm absolutely sure, he will not go for double donation. I also think it's selfish of him. He's ok with donor eggs (but says he doesn't understand I can do it, because he would NEVER accept donor sperm) So there you go! I've tried to talk about it, but he completely shuts down. It's a non issue to him, and he thinks, that his sperm is not the problem. It must be something else...(read: me...)

You're right, I don't have to decide now, I can wait until after the blatocyst in the freezer has been thawed and transferred. But I need to think of a plan B...And I wonder, if I shouldn't go to IVI Valencia for a new donor (or double donation) next time. Every body recommends Valencia, but I went to Ivi Madrid, because they do IMSI which is useful in case of bad quality sperm (oligospermie and teratospermie in severe form), and for the first time fertilization rate was high, but the developpement of the embryos didn't last long. 13 eggs donated, 10 fertilized but only 3 blatocyst on day 5....I'm sure it has something to do with the sperm; I havn't talked with Dr. Velasco about it yet, but I'm pretty sure he'll suggest it; After so many treatments without ever testing positive, one shouldn't keep repeating the same thing if you want a new result, I think....

I think you're a bit younger than me, aren't you? I'll be 45 in April, and it really makes me sick being that old without the perspectives yet of becoming af mom...life sucks right now....So thanks for the smiles...I do need them.

what about you, where are you in the treatment world? What clinic and how many attemps?

big hug

Lamie
lamie2012-02-06 13:48:37

[revalc]

Mayores de 40

Hi Lamie,

Sorry to hear you are feeling like that It's not easy. The only thing I can tell you, is that I'm a single mum, and I had my baby (well not a baby any more, she is already 19 months and a big girl [IMG]smileys/smiley1.gif[/IMG]) I had her by blatocist adoption so she is not my biological daughter. When I decided to do it, my family asked me many times if I was sure, and I always said yes...And yes, she is my daughter becacuse she is my life...because I see her every morning smiling when she wakes up and crying because she does not want to get dressed..

I don't know how to explain it, but she is my daughter becasue I feel it so. And that's all, for me there is not anything else to think. I guess sometimes it is more difficult if you have to try to get someone to understand.

By the way, I had her at 41, after several treatments and some cancellation. It was "only" a blastocist (other times I had two of them transferred) and I remember I cried quite a lot when I had her transferred because I thought that with only one it was going to be almost impossible...

Any way, Good luck!!!

[revalc]

Mayores de 40

Hi Lamie,

Sorry to hear you are feeling like that It's not easy. The only thing I can tell you, is that I'm a single mum, and I had my baby (well not a baby any more, she is already 19 months and a big girl [IMG]smileys/smiley1.gif[/IMG]) I had her by blatocist adoption so she is not my biological daughter. When I decided to do it, my family asked me many times if I was sure, and I always said yes...And yes, she is my daughter becacuse she is my life...because I see her every morning smiling when she wakes up and crying because she does not want to get dressed..

I don't know how to explain it, but she is my daughter becasue I feel it so. And that's all, for me there is not anything else to think. I guess sometimes it is more difficult if you have to try to get someone to understand.

By the way, I had her at 41, after several treatments and some cancellation. It was "only" a blastocist (other times I had two of them transferred) and I remember I cried quite a lot when I had her transferred because I thought that with only one it was going to be almost impossible...I had it done in Ivi MadrID

Any way, Good luck!!!

[Izzy]

Mayores de 40




Hi Lamie, are you feeling better??? I hope
so. If you’ve read Revalc’s message, I’m sure you’ll be!! She achieved with “only”
a blastocyst (congratulations for your daughter, Revalc!!!) and you can also do
it!! You have to think that it will happen!!!!
It quite sad the attitude of your partner and, as I said before, I think
he’s very selfish. You’ll have to think about a plan B although I desire you
have success in your next transfer! Talk to Dr Velasco before going to another
place. I think it’s not a good idea changing the doctor at the first, talk to
him before moving, that’s not the solution.

[england1]

Mayores de 40

Lamie, what revalc and izzy tell you to cheer you up are real experiences.
No one except you and your partner can decide, maybe you could make him to read some single mother or fathers that had their children with sperm donnors, I am sure that if you ask for that in the first page of the foro you will get those, just an idea. Of course, you´d better ask the doctor too because most of the times the sperm problems can be easily fixed through ICSI choosing the best.

Queridas, veremos que me trae la luna llena esta noche y los monitores mañana, que las amigas me dicen que con los monitores "te meten mano" y ya te dejan bastante revuelta y se acelera el parto. Yo sintomas tengo cero, quitando que la barriga me ha bajado un poco y hago mejor digestion. Estoy impaciente.

Besos

[vilu]

Mayores de 40

Hola chicas,

No suelo participar, pero os leo mucho. No quiero ofender a nadie, de verdad, pero ultimamente no me entero de nada, porque como la mayoría de los mensajes están en inglés... Lamie, no te enfades, por favor, pero si pudierais ponerlo en castellano, este foro sería como antes...

[vilu]

Mayores de 40

Hola chicas,

No suelo participar, pero os leo mucho. No quiero ofender a nadie, de verdad, pero ultimamente no me entero de nada, porque como la mayoría de los mensajes están en inglés... Lamie, no te enfades, por favor, pero si pudierais ponerlo en castellano, este foro sería como antes...

[lamie]

Mayores de 40

Dear Vilu

I'm sorry, that you feel I disturb you.... but I don't speak - or write spanish. I'm afraid you think this is not really a place for me, but one of the forum members recommended me to visit your forum, because I'm 40+ and hadn't found others at my age. Sorry if you feel it disturbing, that once in a while, someone writes in english....

It's mostly answers to my questions and needful support in the difficult moments I'm passing, so I'm extremely happy, that your spanish speeking friends take the time and effort to answer me in english. I'm sorry that you think it has changed the forum... But I hope you understand, I really needed some support from your friends....I'll try to limit my interventions.... but please bear with me...I just need to answer the girls...

big hug

Lamie

lamie2012-02-07 17:53:20

[lamie]

Mayores de 40

Lamie, what revalc and izzy tell you to cheer you up are real experiences.
No one except you and your partner can decide, maybe you could make him to read some single mother or fathers that had their children with sperm donnors, I am sure that if you ask for that in the first page of the foro you will get those, just an idea. Of course, you´d better ask the doctor too because most of the times the sperm problems can be easily fixed through ICSI choosing the best.

Queridas, veremos que me trae la luna llena esta noche y los monitores mañana, que las amigas me dicen que con los monitores "te meten mano" y ya te dejan bastante revuelta y se acelera el parto. Yo sintomas tengo cero, quitando que la barriga me ha bajado un poco y hago mejor digestion. Estoy impaciente.

Besos

Thank you, England. you're right, its up to us, but it's difficult to talk about it alone. He simply refuses....It's an excellent idea to find testimonials. The problem is, I'm sure he thinks it's not "neutral" if I recommend articles or anything. What would be really good would be for him to meet people who actully had a child in that way - he would probably be very surprised - but unfortunately it's stille very tabu. It's not like people are shouting from the roof tops, they had double donation - and most of them who doe are single moms, I guess.

I really think, that the ICSI/IMSI tecniques have their limits. There are things, the doctors cannot see in a microscope - and apparently according to an article that IVI has published, there is a link - unfortunately- between repetitively failed oocyte donation cycles AND the donor egg recievers age AND the age of the biological father....For so long, I've been told, that the recievers age did'nt matter, and that the fathers age, had no influence. But apparently it does...Too bad...;-(

big hug, and thanks again for your input

Lamie
lamie2012-02-07 1726

[lamie]

Mayores de 40

Hi Lamie,

Sorry to hear you are feeling like that It's not easy. The only thing I can tell you, is that I'm a single mum, and I had my baby (well not a baby any more, she is already 19 months and a big girl [IMG]smileys/smiley1.gif[/IMG]) I had her by blatocist adoption so she is not my biological daughter. When I decided to do it, my family asked me many times if I was sure, and I always said yes...And yes, she is my daughter becacuse she is my life...because I see her every morning smiling when she wakes up and crying because she does not want to get dressed..

I don't know how to explain it, but she is my daughter becasue I feel it so. And that's all, for me there is not anything else to think. I guess sometimes it is more difficult if you have to try to get someone to understand.

By the way, I had her at 41, after several treatments and some cancellation. It was "only" a blastocist (other times I had two of them transferred) and I remember I cried quite a lot when I had her transferred because I thought that with only one it was going to be almost impossible...I had it done in Ivi MadrID

Any way, Good luck!!!

Dear Reval

I'm so touched about you nice message! What a wonderful testimonial. So you had your baby thanks to IVI Madrid? If I understand you correctly, you had an embryo donation. i.e an embryo from another couple?or did you have an egg donor and a sperm donor? I can understand your family asked you a lot of questions, and it is difficult for people outside of the treatment world -even close family or friends - to understand our dilemmeas That's the main reason why my and his family don't know we are trying with egg donation. Some times I wish they did, so I could have their support, but the things they said, and the thougths they had about IVF-treatments in general make me think that my future (!) child would suffer, if my or his family say some really blessing things...People are sometimes heartless, and it hurts even more, when we are in a vulnerable situation like these treatments are.

I've stopped to say "never", because I've experienced through the years and after too many treatments, that my limits change. We evolve in this experience. When I was younger, I said many times, that if I ever had difficulties getting pregnant, I would NEVER start treatment, but rather adopt a child. I still would have liked to adopt, but my partner doesn't, so there you go. I was afraid of the injections, the side effects, but I was completely sure of getting pregnant...Until I found out how difficult it acutally is

I have the deepest respect for your choice, and it's wonderful to hear from some one, that it IS possible to test positive with just one blatocyst...I do hope I'll experience the magic two lines next time....but I'm afraid it takes more...

big hug and thanks for your support

Lamie
lamie2012-02-07 17:36:15

[lamie]

Mayores de 40

[QUOTE=Izzy]

Hi Lamie, are you feeling better??? I hope so. If you’ve read Revalc’s message, I’m sure you’ll be!! She achieved with “only” a blastocyst (congratulations for your daughter, Revalc!!!) and you can also do it!! You have to think that it will happen!!!! It quite sad the attitude of your partner and, as I said before, I think he’s very selfish. You’ll have to think about a plan B although I desire you have success in your next transfer! Talk to Dr Velasco before going to another place. I think it’s not a good idea changing the doctor at the first, talk to him before moving, that’s not the solution.