What would you do?

[GLouE]

Hi everyone

I'm new on here and looking for a bit of advice. I'm 28, English and living in the UK. My husband and I have been trying for 3 years and have had 6 failed clomid cycles, 1 failed IUI and 2 failed IVF. The reason for both IVF failures (and maybe also the IUI) was attributed to poor egg quality. I have high FSH and low AMH so my ovarian reserve is bad. The doctors have said that they cannot understand why I have such poor quality eggs when I'm so young. They want to try me on another IVF cycle using steroids which could help the quality of the eggs.

However, we don't really have much money and each time we have a cycle we're putting it on our credit card. My question is, if we only can afford another shot at IVF are we better using donor eggs? I know that a lot of women who use donor eggs do so because they have no choice but some just don’t have much faith in their egg quality (me included).

Because my egg quality is so poor will I be put in the 40+ age category regarding success rates? If that is the case, then my chance of IVF success goes down to something like 5% I believe, rather than 55% which is what my actual age category suggests.

What would any of you do? I'm getting my head around the whole egg donor business and I do believe that once I see the baby scan picture for the first time, I'll be so in love with my little one that I wont even think about it not being genetically mine. Also, I think that nuture does seem to have more meaning that nature in this respect for me.

Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks!

[oppita]

What would you do?

Well....when things fail specially the IVF, I think some questions needs to be asked..
You didn´t mentioned how many oocyte you had retrieved..how many fertilized, how many survived to day 3..or day 5...all these together can give more hints on if another try with your own eggs or donor.
I´m in similar position as you...although I´m 39...and been told 25% of success at IVF...again this depends on lots of factors, we retrieved 8 eggs, 7 mature, 4 fertilized with ICSI and I had transfer of 2 - one good quality and regular or fair...so obviously...there is always a possibility.
Another factor to have in mind is that fertility drugs that are used, are partially responsible for "creating" eggs with not so good quality.. what kind of protocol they used with you? Short or long? what drug combination?...

If I were 28 I would try with mine...but definitely changing the clinic..and looking for a best program possible..
In IVI Valencia and I think in IVI barcelona, special protocol for women with high FSH is used..and as far as I know, lots of them succeeded...( antral follicle improvement)..I don´t know if you have anything similar over there in UK..I think it also called japanese protocol.

I hope this can help you...but definitely..when money are involved, it´s difficult to decide...
We´ll give it another try and if no luck...then we will thing about egg donation.

[mikecd]

What would you do?

Hi,

I'm Kim. I have the same problem (low responder, bad eggs, high FSH, etc) but the reason is clear. They call it (in my case) early menopausia.

We failed 1 IVF and 3 ICSI with the social security and are now thinking of egg donation in IVI.

We do not have the money, so everything should be lent from now on. This is also why Ii think we will go for donation, unless the doctors say there is a good change for succeeding...

But with donation this change is always higher I guess...

Hmmm, difficult hè?

About not having my genes, I do not care, it will be of my flesh and blood. Somebody once told me: "It will not have your eyes, but it will have your way to see.."

Succes with evrything and maybe till later.

[GLouE]

What would you do?

Thank you both so much.

To answer the first couple of questions. Our first IVF resulted in 6 eggs (all mature), 5 fertilised (with ICSI) and then had 2 embryos of average quality put back on day 3. The second time we had 10 eggs (all mature), 5 fertilised, 4 turned into embryos but all died on day 3 - we were hoping to go to Blastocyst.

We were on the long protocol for both using Bureselin to down regulate and menopur to stim. I have heard that the higher dose of drugs, the more the quality could be affected and this does seem to be the case for me as we had 4 more eggs than last time due to a higher dose of drugs (which was already quite high last time) but I can't understand why we didn't get 1 good one out of 10?. The doctor wants to keep me on the long protocol but change me to Gonal-F to stim and also have a particular steroid to help too.

Our second IVF was with a different clinic to the first and they are supposed to be the 4th best in England and they are about an hour's drive away. They do seem to know what they are doing because their results speak for themselves and they do want to change my protocol - I just wondered whether to stick with it or go for egg donor

They have mentioned early menopause with me but never really confirmed anything.

I know exactly what you mean Kim about not having my genes - love your saying about the eyes - so true!

Thanks again both for responding.

[oppita]

What would you do?

to be or not to be...The egg donor will give you much higher possibility of succes..We´ll hit that road..and reasons will be more or less the same as yours...( here drs talks about 55% to 65% depending on your uterus)
I can´t make the decision for you...I mean, if both of you feel comfortable with using the egg donor, I´ll say go for it..specially if money can became an issue..

Good luck!
oppita2010-06-15 15:21:57

[oppita]

What would you do?

oppita2010-06-15 1516

[GLouE]

What would you do?

Thank you. Gosh, it's a tough decision isn't it? Just been reading about Japanses mini-IVF. Sounds like another option!

[oppita]

What would you do?

I was researching lot about different protocols..there is another one..called natural cycleIVF...
which means almost none drugs...retrieval of one or two follicles that are growing naturally...vitrification - when you have allright number ( around 8), than fertilization...and transfer...

[GLouE]

What would you do?

Yes, lots more things to consider then. Thanks for all this information. I'm just so scared of getting into so much debt. It's a bit different when you're spending money on something that you know you're going to get - like a car or something, but when you're spending so much without a guaranteed result - it's a hard to deal with. I know you can't really put a price on having a child but I guess you do have to weigh up the options.

[oppita]

What would you do?

I hear you [IMG]smileys/smiley1.gif[/IMG] Right now, we are going to spend almost 8000 euros on next try of IVF with DGP with 25% of success.. we are not in debt right now, beside house mortgage, but we think that child needs our attention, and if we are full of debts and can´t afford for me to stay at home with the child...what´s the point of having one?
...so if this one didn´t works out..we´ll go for egg donor.

[GLouE]

What would you do?

Yes, definitely agree with your reasoning. I really hope it works for you. I said to my husband that when we do eventually have a baby, we need to be in a position to provide for it. I'd like to work part-time but that won't happen if we're in too much debt. My husband keeps reassuring me that we have the rest of our lives to pay off the debts and we could sell our car, downsize our house etc. He's got a point I guess. Anyway in the meantime, I'm entering as many free online competitions for prize money as I can - never resorted to that sort of thing before but it's worth a go haha.

[juliane]

What would you do?

Hi,

just a thought - I have absolutley no idea about the different protocols etc, the one thing that is different about donor IVF is that you have all the time in the world - the race with age and fertility dropping does not appply. So you could try more IVF or not - then work hard for a bit - forgetting about it all and pay off some money . Then have donor IVF later?

Before we had our child - which just happened to come along naturally( when we had given up and started on egg donation) - I found myself in this weird fertility mental place and got very stressed. Destressing is not easy but possibly the best you can do? (so easily said)

Best of luck x Juliane

[GLouE]

What would you do?

Hi Juliane

Thanks for your reply. You're absolutely right about the race against time not being a problem in terms of my body clock but I just have so many friends and family members who are getting pregnant and having babies and I feel like I'm getting left behind (even though I was the one who wanted a baby before any of them). Me and my husband are both more than ready now - we have a lovely house, great jobs and love each other more than we thought it was possible to love someone. We just want to start a little family. We both find ourselves staring at other couples who maybe pushing a pram, playing in the park. Our next door neighbours have a little boy and we watch them playing with him in the garden - I can't help but feel jealous.

I'm so pleased for you about it happening naturally. I was hoping for that to happen to me and you never know, it still might. I also maybe think that having a baby through egg donor might then kick my body into touch and I'll have a surprise miracle baby myself.

Really appreciate your comments - you are right about having so much more time so I'm hoping that I'll start relaxing a bit more.

G x

[why]

What would you do?

Hi GlouE,

I am also having the same problem like you old ovarian reserve, well I am also older, 40 years old, but it really hit me when they told me, specially because in my case all my circle of friends are having babies now...eg have 2 female friends one with 41 told me I now want a baby and 3 months later she was pregnant of 2 months and another one with 40 the same...and now to hear this is really shocking so I can imagine how you must feel.

I am going to give it a shot with a doctor at ivi valencia dr Juana Crespo, everybody says that for such a cases she is absolutely the best.
My appointment is in Sep I let you know how I am getting along if you want, but I heard that is really expensive calculate €5.500 withouth test, and medication.

If I were you, if you try it with your own eggs you should go to the best you can, for the ovo is it not rushed.

all the best